It was predicted that in the 21st century people will have more leisure time than never before because of the improvements of technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Coherence & Cohesion (6); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (5) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Develop each main reason by explicitly linking it to leisure time; for example, explain how faster public transport reduces commuting time and how job competition can extend study or working hours.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5 | The essay presents a clear partial-agreement position in “I partly agree” and considers both the time-saving and time-consuming effects of technology. However, the explanations are brief, and the conclusion’s advice about “balancing work and relax” does not fully resolve how far technology will increase leisure time. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “development of technology” and “competition,” but the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural. Phrases such as “public traffic” and “more leisure time than never before” reduce naturalness, although the main meaning is usually recoverable. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | The essay attempts both simple and complex sentences, as in “because it can make people's lives more busy than before,” but grammatical errors occur frequently. Errors in verb forms, articles, and sentence construction are visible in examples such as “technology develop significantly” and “people have spend more time,” though the overall meaning remains understandable. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 6 | The four-paragraph structure and the sequence marked by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the overall argument easy to follow. Some connections remain basic or vague, particularly the final “In this way,” whose referent is not clearly explained. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
In contemporary society, technology develop significantly
In contemporary society, technology has developed significantly
Use the present perfect to describe development up to the present; the singular subject “technology” also requires a singular verb.
In contemporary society, technology develop significantly and people need balance the work and relax.
In contemporary society, technology develop significantly and people need balance the work and leisure.
“Relax” is a verb, but this parallel phrase needs a noun such as “leisure” (or “relaxation”).
people need balance the work and relax.
people need to balance work and relaxing.
After “need,” use the infinitive “to balance”; generic “work” does not take “the” here, and the coordinated forms should be grammatically compatible.
Someone predict that between 2000 and 2100 individuals will have more free time than never before.
Someone predicts that between 2000 and 2100 individuals will have more free time than never before.
The singular subject “someone” takes the singular present-tense verb “predicts.”
Someone predict that between 2000 and 2100 individuals will have more free time than never before.
Someone predict that between 2000 and 2100 individuals will have more free time than ever before.
The established expression is “than ever before”; “than never before” reverses the intended meaning.
This is because the development of technology.
This is because of the development of technology.
Use “because of” before a noun phrase; “because” alone introduces a clause.
I partly agree with this view because technology can make people's daily lives more convenient but sometimes technology also makes people more busy than before.
I partly agree with this view because technology can make people's daily lives more convenient, but sometimes technology also makes people more busy than before.
Place a comma before “but” when it joins two independent clauses.
people can travel easily than before.
people can travel more easily than before.
Use the comparative form “more easily” before “than.”
How this answer could score higher
- Develop each main reason by explicitly linking it to leisure time; for example, explain how faster public transport reduces commuting time and how job competition can extend study or working hours.
- Improve grammatical accuracy by checking verb forms and sentence patterns, especially errors such as “technology develop” and “people have spend.”
- Use more natural, precise collocations, replacing “public traffic” with “public transport” and “more leisure time than never before” with “more leisure time than ever before.”
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