In many countries people are working longer hours and have less free time than in the past. What are the causes of this? What can be done to improve the situation?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Coherence & Cohesion (6); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (5) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Fully develop the solutions: replace the vague claim that "The government could provide aids" with concrete policies such as overtime limits, stronger enforcement of working-hour laws, affordable childcare, and financial support, then explain how each would create more free time.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5 | The essay addresses both questions by identifying the rising cost of living and AI-related job insecurity as causes, and it suggests government assistance and personal use of leave as solutions. However, the solutions are only briefly developed, and claims such as people needing to "work three times harder" are repeated without sufficient explanation or realistic support. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay attempts a reasonable range, including terms such as "cost of living," "job security risk," "lay-offs," and "work productivity," but several collocations are unnatural or imprecise. Spelling and word-form problems such as "mre," "sigificant," and "stil" are noticeable and reduce lexical accuracy. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | The essay uses some complex structures, including "In a bid to meet up with..." and "What this technology advancement causes is...", but grammatical errors are frequent enough to limit accuracy. Problems with agreement, tense, articles, possessives, and sentence construction occur in several paragraphs, although the main meaning is usually clear. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 6 | The essay has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to two causes, then solutions and a conclusion, and links such as "This translates to" and "On the other hand" generally guide the reader. However, progression is weakened by repeated ideas, an unclear contrast in "On the other hand," and a conclusion that mainly repeats the introduction. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
There is a global pandemic concerning longer working hours and consequently less free time.
There is a widespread problem involving longer working hours and consequently less free time.
"Pandemic" normally refers to a disease outbreak, so "widespread problem" is more precise here.
There are a lot of causes and variable ways to solve this.
There are many causes and various ways to address this problem.
"Variable ways" is not the natural collocation; "various ways" means several different methods.
In a bid to meet up with this increased cost of living's requirement, people have to work three times harder.
In a bid to meet the demands created by the increased cost of living, people have to work three times as hard.
"Meet up with ... requirement" is an incorrect collocation, while "meet the demands" is the natural expression.
This translates to increased work input leading to longer working hours and consequently less free time.
This translates to a greater workload, leading to longer working hours and consequently less free time.
"Work input" is imprecise in this context; "workload" refers more naturally to the amount of work employees must do.
With the advent of AI and so many more technology interfaced models, there is a lot of job security risk.
With the advent of AI and so many new technology-integrated systems, there is a significant threat to job security.
"Technology interfaced models" is an unnatural expression, and "a lot of job security risk" is less precise than "a significant threat to job security."
According to a study in January 20206, lay-offs for the year is predicted to be six times mre than last year's.
According to a study in January 20206, lay-offs for the year are predicted to be six times mre than last year's.
The plural subject "lay-offs" requires the plural verb "are", not "is".
According to a study in January 20206, lay-offs for the year is predicted to be six times mre than last year's.
According to a study in January 2026, lay-offs for the year is predicted to be six times more than last year's.
"20206" contains an extra digit and "mre" is a misspelling of "more."
The sole reason given for this prediction is the possible replacement of jobs with AI.
The sole reason given for this prediction is the possible displacement of human workers by AI.
"Displacement of human workers by AI" expresses the effect of automation more precisely than "replacement of jobs with AI."
How this answer could score higher
- Fully develop the solutions: replace the vague claim that "The government could provide aids" with concrete policies such as overtime limits, stronger enforcement of working-hour laws, affordable childcare, and financial support, then explain how each would create more free time.
- Improve accuracy in high-frequency grammar and spelling by correcting forms such as "lay-offs... is predicted," "cost of living's requirement," "mre," "sigificant," and "stil" before attempting more ambitious structures.
- Use precise, natural collocations instead of expressions such as "global pandemic concerning" and "increased job timelines"; write "a widespread social problem," "heavier workloads," and "rising living costs."
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