Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Citizens are incapable of personally making significant positive changes on the aspects of their surroundings, however for a region to remarkably transform, the state and other influential businesses are the ones with the sole capability of overlooking these changes. People, contrary to their leaders, lack control and empowerment strategies necessary to aim for substantial results of the measures taken to change their area. I strongly believe that ordinary citizens cannot facilitate big alterations of their surroundings, while leaders are very much able. To begin with, the process of transforming the face of a place requires extensive work with many units coordinating to have desired outcomes. This needs a central point of harmonization and given that the government is composed of several sectors, this becomes an easy task for them. Citizens lack this ability hence the government becomes a convenient option. For example, the state will easily incorporate the architecture and construction units when there is a need to reconstruct a park because these are the segments it controls. This can get difficult for nationals thus the potential lies uniquely on the state. Additionally, significant changes require large amounts of money which individuals lack. Nonetheless, bodies running the country generate a considerable sum of income from taxes and activities running across various sectors. This makes them capable of catering for all reinforcements necessary in their location. For instance, the entire process of constructing large roads requires billions and as a result, the state mostly takes up that responsibility. This makes the state the only guaranteed prospect of making marked changes in a community. extensive work.
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 6.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (7); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (6) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Develop the second argument beyond "a huge amount of plastic and trash will be reduced and recycled": explain which individual actions cause this change and how they influence others.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 7 | The position is clear and sustained in "I vehemently disagree", and the essay gives two relevant reasons why individuals can make a difference. The examples of the Formosa protest and Japanese street cleanliness support the argument, though the mechanisms and scale of these effects could be developed more fully. |
| Lexical Resource | 6 | The essay uses some appropriate topic vocabulary, including "regulations", "polluting the ecosystem" and "collective effort", but several collocations are imprecise or unnatural. Spelling and word-choice problems such as "envinronment", "resouces" and "positive figure" reduce accuracy and precision. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 6 | The essay attempts a range of complex structures, including conditional clauses in "when each person is well aware" and a relative clause in "a company called Formosa for severely damaging the river and canals around the area". Errors recur in clause construction and sentence structure, although the intended meaning is generally clear. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 7 | The response is organised into a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs and a conclusion, with a logical progression from public pressure to personal and collective behaviour. Linking phrases such as "That is to say" and "This is because" are sometimes repetitive or add little, but the main relationships between ideas remain clear. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
It is said that only authorities and large corporations are responsible for protecting the envinronment while the effort of regular people is inconsiderable and unimportant.
It is said that only authorities and large corporations are responsible for protecting the environment while the effort of regular people is inconsiderable and unimportant.
"envinronment" is misspelled; the correct spelling is "environment".
citizens' pressure can force governments to regulate stricter laws to preserve the environment
pressure from citizens can force governments to enact stricter laws to preserve the environment
"Regulate laws" is not the usual collocation; governments enact or introduce laws.
the collective effort of each individual can accumulate into substantial changes.
the combined efforts of individuals can add up to substantial changes.
Efforts typically "add up to" changes; "accumulate into" is an unnatural collocation here.
That is to say that when people are bounded together with the same purpose of protecting their planet, the pressure and protests from them will force the government to implement new regulations to prevent industries from polluting the ecosystem.
That is to say that when people are bound together with the same purpose of protecting their planet, the pressure and protests from them will force the government to implement new regulations to prevent industries from polluting the ecosystem.
Use the irregular past participle “bound” in the phrase “are bound together”; “bounded” is not the correct form here.
when people are bounded together with the same purpose of protecting their planet
when people are bound together by the shared purpose of protecting their planet
The expression is "bound together"; "bounded" is not the correct form in this idiom.
A practical example of this can be seen in Vietnam, where its people protested against a company called Formosa for severely damaging the river and canals around the area, and this obliged the authority to shut down the business, bringing back the natural resouces to the residents.
A practical example of this can be seen in Vietnam, where its people protested against a company called Formosa for severely damaging the river and canals around the area. This obliged the authority to shut down the business, bringing back the natural resouces to the residents.
The relative clause beginning with “where” is followed by a separate independent clause; use a full stop rather than joining them with a comma and “and.”
A practical example of this can be seen in Vietnam, where its people protested against a company called Formosa for severely damaging the river and canals around the area, and this obliged the authority to shut down the business, bringing back the natural resouces to the residents.
A practical example of this can be seen in Vietnam, where its people protested against a company called Formosa for severely damaging the river and canals around the area, and this obliged the authority to shut down the business, bringing back the natural resources to the residents.
"resouces" is misspelled; the correct spelling is "resources".
bringing back the natural resouces to the residents.
restoring the area's natural resources for local residents.
"Restore" is more precise than "bring back" for the recovery of damaged natural resources.
How this answer could score higher
- Develop the second argument beyond "a huge amount of plastic and trash will be reduced and recycled": explain which individual actions cause this change and how they influence others.
- Correct recurring word-choice and spelling problems, especially "positive figure" to "positive example" and "envinronment" to "environment".
- Review complex sentence structure, particularly the inversion in "not only it can change"; write "not only can it change ... but it can also ...".
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