Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 6.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Coherence & Cohesion (7); Grammatical Range & Accuracy (6) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Add a fully developed economic and cultural paragraph or expand the second body paragraph with specific effects, using examples such as employment, local business revenue, shared cultural experiences, and independent films.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 6 | The essay addresses both views and gives a clear opinion that theatres and cinemas remain important, as shown by "I believe that theatres and cinemas are still important in modern society". However, the economic and especially cultural importance is not fully developed, and the supporting ideas are relatively narrow, focusing mainly on personal enjoyment and support for the film industry. |
| Lexical Resource | 6 | The essay uses a generally adequate range, including effective phrases such as "streaming platforms", "high-quality audio", and "immersive experience". However, several collocation and word-choice problems reduce precision, including "latest released movies", "the diversified range of movies", and "deliver me an incredibly immersive experience". |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 6 | The response uses a reasonable mix of simple and complex structures, including the concessive clause "while both views offer valid points" and the purpose/result structure "thus people can fully concentrate". Nevertheless, noticeable errors occur several times, particularly in sentence boundaries and verb forms, although they do not usually prevent understanding. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 7 | The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, with the opposing view introduced by "To begin with" and the writer's view developed after "However, in my opinion". Ideas progress logically and the conclusion is relevant, although some linking expressions such as "Therefore" and "As a result" are somewhat repetitive and the final paragraph adds little beyond the introduction. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
With the increasing debate of whether theatres and cinemas are as important as before
With the increasing debate over whether theatres and cinemas are as important as before
The standard collocation is “debate over” or “debate about,” not “debate of.”
while others believe that they still have significant influence on economy and culture.
while others believe that they still have significant influence on the economy and culture.
The singular countable noun "economy" requires the definite article when referring to the economy in general.
including the latest released movies
including the latest movie releases
“Latest released movies” is an unnatural collocation; “latest movie releases” is the conventional expression.
Netflix not only provides classic movies but also produces their exclusive TV series
Netflix not only provides classic movies but also produces its exclusive TV series
The singular company name "Netflix" takes the singular possessive pronoun "its", not "their".
, the diversified range of movies appeals people to subscribe to the platform easily.
; the diversified range of movies appeals people to subscribe to the platform easily.
A comma cannot join two independent clauses; use a semicolon to separate them.
the diversified range of movies appeals people to subscribe to the platform easily.
the diversified range of movies appeals to people to subscribe to the platform easily.
The verb "appeal" requires the preposition "to" before its object.
the diversified range of movies appeals people to subscribe to the platform easily
the diverse range of movies appeals people to subscribe to the platform easily
“Diverse range” is the usual collocation for variety, whereas “diversified” normally describes something that has been made more varied.
These places allow individuals to enjoy a movie in high quality and without any interference, thus people can fully concentrate on what they are watching.
These places allow individuals to enjoy a movie in high quality and without any interference; thus, people can fully concentrate on what they are watching.
The two independent clauses must be joined with a semicolon before the conjunctive adverb "thus", followed by a comma.
How this answer could score higher
- Add a fully developed economic and cultural paragraph or expand the second body paragraph with specific effects, using examples such as employment, local business revenue, shared cultural experiences, and independent films.
- Correct recurring collocation problems by replacing "latest released movies", "diversified range", and "deliver me an immersive experience" with "latest movie releases", "wide variety", and "provide an immersive experience".
- Proofread complex sentences for grammar and sentence boundaries, especially the comma splice after "TV series" and the missing infinitive in "continue provide".
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