Some people think that computers and the internet are more important for a child’s education than going to school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5.5 on the four official criteria. Its strongest criterion was Task Response (6); Coherence & Cohesion (5) held it back. The biggest single improvement: Fix sentence boundary issues and punctuation (e.g., replace comma splices with full stops and capitalize the pronoun 'I') to dramatically improve Grammatical Range & Accuracy.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 6 | The candidate presents a clear stance in response to the prompt, partially agreeing that digital tools are useful while asserting that schools remain essential. Main ideas are present, though some supporting arguments lack logical clarity and depth. |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 | The response demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, including some effective modern terminology. However, recurring spelling errors and imprecise prepositions or word combinations limit the score. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | While complex structures are attempted, grammatical errors occur frequently throughout the text. Persistent issues with articles, capitalization, subject-verb agreement, and double comparatives distract the reader. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5 | The essay uses an appropriate four-paragraph layout, but paragraph progression is disrupted by sentence boundary errors and comma splices. Cohesive devices are occasionally misplaced or misused, causing abrupt transitions between thoughts. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
computers and internet are crucial education tool for the children
computers and the internet are crucial educational tools for children
The noun 'internet' requires the definite article 'the', 'educational' should be used as an adjective, and generic plural nouns like 'children' do not take 'the'.
crucial education tool for the children
crucial educational tools for children
The noun 'education' should be transformed into the adjective 'educational' to correctly modify 'tools'.
and using that are more functional than going to schools.
and using them is more effective than going to school.
The pronoun 'them' must refer to plural nouns, the gerund subject 'using' requires the singular verb 'is', and institutional 'going to school' should be singular.
and using that are more functional than going to schools.
and using them is more practical than attending traditional schools.
'Functional' is an awkward word choice here; 'practical' or 'effective' conveys the comparative utility of digital learning much more precisely.
In my opinion, i partially agree with this statement, Modern tools
In my opinion, I partially agree with this statement. Modern tools
The personal pronoun 'I' must be capitalized, and two independent main clauses cannot be joined by a comma splice.
and could offer a great help to the children
and could be of great help to children
The uncountable noun 'help' should not take the indefinite article 'a', and 'children' in a general sense should omit 'the'.
could offer a great help to the children
could offer significant assistance to children
'Offer a great help' is an unnatural collocation; 'provide significant assistance' or 'be of great help' is standard written English.
to access internet, that ensure great flexibility
to access the internet, which ensures great flexibility
Add the article 'the' before 'internet', use 'which' for non-defining relative clauses, and ensure the verb 'ensures' agrees with its singular referent.
How this answer could score higher
- Fix sentence boundary issues and punctuation (e.g., replace comma splices with full stops and capitalize the pronoun 'I') to dramatically improve Grammatical Range & Accuracy.
- Eliminate basic spelling errors ('usefull', 'equpment', 'studing') and preposition mistakes ('search about' -> 'search for') to elevate Lexical Resource to Band 6.0+.
- Strengthen argument logic in Body 2 by replacing vague sentences about computer history with concrete reasons why school environments benefit children (e.g., social skills, structured discipline).
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