Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in other counties. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5 on the four official criteria. All four criteria were marked at 5. The biggest single improvement: Give a direct answer to whether professionals should be "required" to remain in the training country, rather than using the vague claim "plays a vital role", and maintain that position consistently.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5 | The essay discusses both positions, as shown by "some argue that professionals should work where they learn" and "opponents believe that... in another country is more beneficial", but the arguments are only partially developed. The conclusion favours working in the training country, yet it does not clearly answer whether professionals should actually be required to do so. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay uses some topic-related vocabulary, including "professionals", "experience", "research techniques" and "secure employment", but word choice and collocation are frequently inaccurate. Expressions such as "working destination", "sufferer community" and "go outside from homeland" reduce precision and make some ideas sound unnatural. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | The essay attempts a range of complex structures, including "While some argue..., others think..." and "Even though...", but grammatical errors are frequent in clauses, agreement, articles, plurals and verb patterns. These errors do not usually prevent understanding, although sentences such as "Citizen who support... is necessary the primary reason" are difficult to interpret. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5 | The response has a clear overall structure with an introduction, two opposing body paragraphs and a conclusion, but progression within the paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. Linking and referencing are often inaccurate or unclear, particularly in sequences such as "Furthermore, although" and "they may not only apply their academic learning but also interact them". |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
The working destination of experts, including doctors and engineers is a controversial issue today.
The working destination of experts, including doctors and engineers, is a controversial issue today.
A non-defining phrase such as "including doctors and engineers" must be enclosed by commas.
The working destination of experts, including doctors and engineers
The workplace of professionals, including doctors and engineers
"Working destination" is not a natural collocation for the country or place where someone works; "workplace" or "place of employment" is more precise.
professionals should work where they learn
professionals should work where they trained
Professionals normally receive training rather than simply learn in the context of becoming doctors or engineers.
they should find their job abroad where they feel comfortable
they should seek employment abroad where they feel comfortable
"Seek employment" is the appropriate collocation when discussing choosing a place to work.
This essay will explain people's different view on this topic.
This essay will explain people's different views on this topic.
The plural adjective "different" requires the plural countable noun "views" in this context.
Citizen who support establishing a career in the place where they developed their knowledge, is necessary the primary reason is that they find opportunities to assist their own people.
Citizens who support establishing a career in the place where they developed their knowledge say that the primary reason is that they find opportunities to assist their own people.
The subject must be plural, the relative clause must agree with "citizens", and a comma must not separate the subject from its verb; the original sentence also has an incorrectly constructed clause.
the place where they developed their knowledge
the place where they received their training
"Received their training" is more precise than "developed their knowledge" for professional education.
the individuals may benefit from them
local people may benefit from their expertise
The pronoun "them" creates unclear reference, while "local people" and "their expertise" identify the beneficiaries and the benefit precisely.
How this answer could score higher
- Give a direct answer to whether professionals should be "required" to remain in the training country, rather than using the vague claim "plays a vital role", and maintain that position consistently.
- Replace unnatural collocations such as "working destination", "sufferer community" and "go outside from homeland" with precise phrases such as "where skilled professionals should work", "disadvantaged local communities" and "move abroad".
- Improve sentence construction and clause accuracy, especially in complex sentences: change "Even though, critics may claim that settlement and secure employment in foreign nations are costly and challenging" to "Although critics may claim that settling abroad and finding secure employment are costly and challenging, professionals can still benefit from access to advanced research systems."
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