Some people believe that more trees should be planted instead of building housing societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 5 on the four official criteria. All four criteria were marked at 5. The biggest single improvement: Fully develop the comparison with housing: acknowledge the need for affordable homes, then explain where tree planting should take priority and why this approach is realistic.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5 | The position is clear in statements such as "green areas are much more important" and "I strongly support the planting trend against construction approach", and the essay gives two relevant reasons. However, the comparison with housing is only briefly acknowledged in "growing cities needs more new structures", so the consequences of replacing housing development with tree planting are not fully discussed or developed. |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | The essay attempts a reasonably varied vocabulary, including "myriad countries", "crucial contribution" and "urban air pollution", but frequent inaccurate word choices, collocations, spelling errors and word forms reduce precision. Some expressions are difficult to understand naturally, such as "unhealthy air circumstances", "change people feeling" and "construction approach". |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5 | The writer attempts a range of structures, including a concessive opening, a conditional sentence and the inversion in "not only do trees make more beautiful public spaces". However, errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, sentence construction and verb forms are frequent, as in "growing cities needs" and "trees should plant gradually", and they sometimes obscure the intended meaning. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5 | The response has a recognisable four-paragraph structure, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and it uses linking expressions such as "However", "Therefore" and "Hence". Nevertheless, some connections are unclear or logically abrupt, particularly the shift from the conditional example about "developing countries' authorities" to the general conclusion about air pollution. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Corrections from the marking
Throughout the past few decades, in myriad countries, a number of proportion have argued that planting trees should replace instead of building modern constructions.
Throughout the past few decades, in myriad countries, a proportion of people have argued that trees should be planted instead of modern constructions being built.
Quantifiers must be formed as either "a number of + plural noun" or "a proportion of + noun", and "replace" requires a grammatical object or a parallel passive structure.
a number of proportion
many people
"Proportion" cannot refer to people here; use "many people" or "a number of people".
replace instead of building modern constructions
take priority over building modern housing
"Replace instead of" is an incorrect collocation in this context, and "modern housing" is more precise than "modern constructions".
Admittedly, growing cities needs more new structures.
Admittedly, growing cities need more new structures.
The plural subject "growing cities" requires the plural verb "need".
However, preparing the new green areas ,that are made by planting trees, in cities makes a crucial contribution to air pollution reduction and also increase mental health by modify environments' atmosphere.
However, preparing new green areas, which are made by planting trees, in cities makes a crucial contribution to air pollution reduction and also increases mental health by modifying environments' atmosphere.
The compound verb must agree with the singular subject, "by" is followed by a gerund, and there must be no space before the comma.
preparing the new green areas
creating new green spaces
The natural collocation is "create green spaces," not "prepare green areas."
increase mental health
improve mental health
The standard collocation is "improve mental health," not "increase mental health."
modify environments' atmosphere
enhance the urban environment
"Modify environments' atmosphere" is imprecise and unnatural; "enhance the urban environment" expresses this idea more naturally.
How this answer could score higher
- Fully develop the comparison with housing: acknowledge the need for affordable homes, then explain where tree planting should take priority and why this approach is realistic.
- Learn and use accurate topic-specific collocations, replacing phrases such as "unhealthy air circumstances" and "construction approach" with "poor air quality" and "housing development".
- Prioritise basic grammatical accuracy in every sentence, especially agreement, passive forms and sentence construction: write "cities need", "trees should be planted" and "creating green areas improves mental health".
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