Some people think that celebrities are good role models for young people, while others believe they set a harmful example. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This IELTS Writing Task 2 answer was marked Band 8 on the four official criteria. All four criteria were marked at 8. The biggest single improvement: Make the supporting examples more specific and fully developed: replace the general reference to "numerous athletes" with a clearly described example and explain its direct effect on young people.
How it was marked
| Criterion | Band | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 8 | The essay fully addresses both views and presents a clear, nuanced position that celebrities are positive influences when they "use their influence responsibly". Ideas are relevant and logically supported, although some examples, such as "numerous athletes have established foundations", remain general rather than being developed through a specific case or more detailed explanation. |
| Lexical Resource | 8 | The essay uses a wide and precise range of vocabulary, including "impressionable teenagers", "social responsibility", "public platform" and "meaningful achievements", with accurate collocation and no spelling problems. It does not quite demonstrate the consistently highly flexible and sophisticated control of a band 9 response because broad terms such as "young people", "celebrities" and "positive" recur. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 8 | The essay demonstrates a wide range of accurate structures, including concessive clauses in "While some people believe...", relative clauses in "who often admire and imitate them" and conditional structures in "when they use their influence responsibly". Errors are extremely rare, although the response could show a little more structural variety to reach the fully flexible control associated with band 9. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 8 | The response has a clear progression from the introduction to the two opposing views, the writer's position and the conclusion, with effective paragraphing and cohesive links such as "On the one hand" and "As a result". Referencing is generally natural, as shown by "Such actions" and "their behaviour", although the organisation follows a somewhat predictable discussion-essay pattern. |
The answer
A learner answer, not a model answer — study what the marks reward, don't copy it.
Celebrities play a significant role in modern society, particularly among young people who often admire and imitate them. While some people believe that celebrities serve as positive role models, others argue that they frequently set a harmful example. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before explaining why I believe that celebrities can be beneficial role models when they use their influence responsibly.
On the one hand, many celebrities can inspire young people to work hard and pursue their ambitions. Successful athletes, musicians and entrepreneurs often achieve their goals through years of dedication, perseverance and self-discipline. By sharing their experiences, they can motivate young people to overcome challenges and strive for success. Furthermore, many public figures use their fame to support charitable causes and raise awareness of important social issues. For example, numerous athletes have established foundations that provide educational opportunities for disadvantaged children. Such actions encourage young people to contribute positively to society and develop a sense of social responsibility.
On the other hand, some celebrities may exert a negative influence on young audiences. Due to their popularity, their behaviour is frequently copied by impressionable teenagers. When celebrities engage in irresponsible actions, become involved in public scandals or promote unhealthy lifestyles, they may encourage young people to adopt similar behaviours. In addition, social media often portrays glamorous lifestyles filled with luxury and success, which can create unrealistic expectations about life. As a result, some young individuals may become overly focused on wealth, appearance and social status rather than personal development and meaningful achievements.
In my opinion, celebrities are neither inherently good nor bad role models. Their influence depends largely on how they choose to use their public platform. While there are certainly examples of famous individuals who set a poor example, many others demonstrate admirable qualities such as determination, generosity and resilience. Young people can learn valuable life lessons from such individuals, provided they are encouraged to think critically rather than imitate celebrities blindly.
In conclusion, some people view celebrities as positive role models because they inspire ambition and support worthwhile causes, whereas others believe they promote harmful values and unrealistic lifestyles. I believe that celebrities can have a positive impact on young people, but only when their influence is accompanied by responsible behaviour and thoughtful guidance from parents and educators.
How this answer could score higher
- Make the supporting examples more specific and fully developed: replace the general reference to "numerous athletes" with a clearly described example and explain its direct effect on young people.
- Increase lexical precision by varying repeated terms such as "young people", "celebrities" and "positive impact", using alternatives only where they accurately fit the context.
- Demonstrate slightly greater grammatical flexibility by adding structures such as "Only when... can..." and participle clauses like "Portraying luxury as normal...", while maintaining the current high level of accuracy.
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